He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
