susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
