at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
