We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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