All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize