we're blogging at a bar
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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