I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize