dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
