Nicole vs. Life
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize