absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
