there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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