Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
