Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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