Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
