he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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