508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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