drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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