let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize