the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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