I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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