Where is the hickey?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
