i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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