Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
