when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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