It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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