Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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