Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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