Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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