3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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