Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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