I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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