I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
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