i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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