remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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