Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
