holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
