ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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