He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
