Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
