I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
