tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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