Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
