she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
