just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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