Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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