When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
