i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
