she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
