i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
