The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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