Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
