shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
