I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize