i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
