id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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