I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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