i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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