hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
