but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You did what with his pubic hair?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
