We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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