i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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