I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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