Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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