When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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