4 words: hood of his car
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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